How NLP Techniques Work - an example

Time to get straight to the point and describe for you how a particluar technique from the tool box works. The co-creators of NLP, Bandler and Grinder, developed a pattern that utilises what are known as 'submodalities'. These are the images, sounds and feelings associated with our experiences.

I'll describe it in laymans terms, non-techny, no jargon. What we are going to do is this. Below are a set of instructions, read through them one by one and take your time developing the images (you'll find out what I mean in a second or so). Be prepared to close your eyes and you may want to do that, as for some it heightens the effectiveness of the process.

TRY THIS SIMPLE PROCESS

Here you go, start now, after you have read the first part of this process:

Part 1 - Take a moment to think about where you live, your house, the place you go home to.

Imagine you are stood looking at your house, facing the front, looking at the front door, noticing some of the finer details that only you know exist or noticing some other feature.

(By doing this you have probably seen a visual image in your memory of your house)


Part 2 - Now. See that house image again, theone you just had and note the following:

Is the image colour or black and white?
Moving or still?
Are you in the image or not?
Panoramic or TV or Postcard in size?
If you were to reach out and touch it where would it be?
Is it 2D or 3D?
Where is it located in your visual field?

You should now have a set of data that describes a small section of the 'code' of that memory of your home. (There are many others involved across all of the senses. The questions contained here are from the 'visual' sense)



Part 3 - Now. Think about your workplace..

..and choose a task or situation where you experience a 'feeling' that is not the best feeling for the task to be completed to the best of its ability.

When you think about you doing that, or your memory of it, take a moment to think about it and you'll begin to recall an image/memory of that time. Let that happen.

Part 4 - Think of the image again and ask the following questions:

Is the image colour or black and white?
Moving or still?
Are you in the image or not?
Panoramic or TV or Postcard in size?
If you were to reach out and touch it where would it be?
Is it 2D or 3D?
Where is it located in your visual field?

By now you have a small part of the code of that experience you imagined.

Why ask the questions? What's going on?

These are some of the questions I ask my clients about their 'experiences of being in challenging situations' and when I say experiences I'm talking about things like public speaking, cold calling, meeting people for the first time, negotiating and many other challenges people face where they 'behave or feel' a way that is not productive to the task at hand.

What I'm doing by asking these questions about the memory is defining the 'code' of the experience. After that you ask a client 'what word describes how you feel' and then to 'point to where the feeling is.' I then go on to change some of the memory coding and that changes the position of the feeling and that in turn changes the word the client uses to describe how they feel. Same memory, slightly different in structure now and a different word to describe it.

Imagine a piano keyboard. From key 'C' up an octave to 'C' there are different keys that when stroked produce a different sound. The same applies here with this technique. The word panic is mostly associated with feelings in a different place to confident. The techniques allow you to play any tune you want to in any given situation.

Straight forward and effective change that gets results. That's what it's all about, changing your experience so you can feel different. You know as well as I do, when you feel different about something, you get a different result.

Marking out in time

Sports personality of the year brings back fond memories of child hood for me. It appears to mark out a certain point in time in the year that Christmas is upon us and all the things that happened earlier in the year are now behind us, or to the side, or somewhere else......

If you were to think about where you are now and were to point in the direction of the future, where would it be?
Go on, point to it.

After you've done that, point to where the past is.

Some people have what's called their 'time line' running through loads of different directions, up and down, left to right, diagonal, infront only, the list goes on.

When you are out communciating with someone next and they are using their hands to communicate, look at how they mark out items and timeframes in 'spaces' or locations. What direction are the movements in, what does that say about where they mark out their timings? For example someone might say, "last week I went to..." whilst pointing back over their shoulder. Alternatively, someone might say, "I was looking at buying this car" and all of a sudden their attention is away from you and they are looking into thin air......seeing the car again in whatever direction they are looking.

Why do we need to know this? When you are communicating back to them, maybe re-communicating certain things they have mentioned, you can refer to those areas by subtly pointing to them to acknowledge their existence. Afterall, from the other persons perspective, that is really where they are!

Communicate to them on their level and you'll get results.

Did Pavlov have the X Factor and not know?

Over the last couple of months, Saturday nights in the UK have been filled with TV programmes that celebrate the performances of people who are moving nearer and nearer to their personal goals. For it doesn't matter whether or not it's singing on stage in front of millions of viewers, dancing with a professional, attending an important business meeting or making a sales call to a new business, the patterns of behaviour that are encoded within us will determine our result in that situation.

Let me explain....
Think about you and your employment/business. Now, think about tasks that if you were to be honest with yourself, you may 'avoid' or find 'challenging' and if you are a small business owner, you may resonate with something along the lines of making a sales call or standing up to give a presentation that has a lot of weight attached to it. Take a moment to imagine you are in that situation and having to do that thing you find challenging.


For some people you may have 'imagined' or created a visual representation of the event in you minds eye. You may have 'gone back' to an event, or time, when you were 'doing that thing' and as you think about the finer details of the situation, you might also begin to feel slightly different as the internal sensation associated with that task starts to grow inside you and suddenly you notice you are feeling a bit 'different' now.

So what happened?
What's happened could be associated with Pavlovian Theory (1890's). Ivan Pavlov was experimenting with the saliva responses of dogs and noted that when presented with food, the dogs would start to produce saliva. Some reports go on to state that he then moved on to use instruments such as tuning forks, bells and others, to associate those sounds with the visual of the food that would condition the production of saliva (response) to the sounds of the instruments (stimulus), even without food.

Similarities can be seen between the imagery you created of the 'challenging task' and the feelings you produced as a result of thinking about that challenging task. Upon production of the image (stimulus), you produced a reaction (response) that you may describe in words as nervousness, procrastination, apprehension or some other description, depending on what you're thinking.

So why might Pavlov hold the key to having the X Factor?

Performance, in any context depends on a number of sequences firing together to produce the right 'frame of mind' to perform to 'potential'. By that, what I mean is that we react to information that comes in through our senses that creates the internal responses that govern our behaviour. That challenging task you were thinking of earlier, could you really do it if you put your mind to it? Do you have the elements that could be put together to complete it? Could you physically do it? Is there anything that realistically is stopping you? Or is what's stopping you related to how you feel about it?

Personal development techniques or psychology tools that take your mind through a different set of processes, slightly different to what you are usually used to, allow a person to create the required feelings that would enable them to take action in areas in which a person procrastinates, avoids, dislikes. Think about any situation in which you'd want to 'feel better doing it' and what you might look forward to achieving if that change could be made!

Desensitise or substitute?

These tools are often used in association with desensitising a person against a particular food, sometimes drugs, yet in a business environment, desensitisation of feelings associated with challenging contexts like sales calls or public speaking, or even coming into contact with a particular person could result in a person creating a much more attractive outcome for themselves. What makes this even more fascinating is understanding that instead of desensitising the feeling, other feelings can be substituted to meet the requirements of the task. Think about it like this. Instead of being anxious before a speech of some description and displaying the common behaviours associated with someone who doesn't enjoy public speaking, then conditioning a state/frame of mind such as 'supreme confidence' to be respond to the stimulus of public speaking can be achieved, eliminating any previous fear of the task and now approaching it with supreme confidence.

Perfection is unrealistic yet excellence is a level which we can strive towards. If your actions (responses) are driven by reactions to situations (stimulus) and the response you associate with situations can be changed, what would happen if you were to look at your situation, what you could change and what you might achieve if you can do that. In addition, if you could take your mind through a process that would allow you to experience preferred responses would you do it?

Thanks to the Pavlov, next time you are watching 'one of those programmes' and assessing the performance of that person, what is it they've got that you think you haven't and then think could you have it?

What would it be like......?

When presenting your solution to your audience either formally or informally, face to face, over the telephone, or any other communication context, to get people to resonate with what it is you are offering requires you to allow them to consider "What would it be like if I had it?"

It makes sense doesn't it? Putting a person in that mental space that allows them to fully associate with what it is that is on offer, mentally experiencing being in a situation with the product/service or noticing what its like, receiving the benefit associated with it - that's what makes a sale.


When you're next in a sales context, make an (un)conscious effort to ask one or more of the following question(s):


What would it be like to have increased productivity?
What would it mean for you to.........
How would having a 'x' impact the business?
What would it be like to see an improvement/saving in 'x'?


Only by doing this can a prospect identify the necessary questions that he/she needs to ask to make the right decision for them. Only after going through the process (that takes a split second) of making the mental images, maybe hearing the sounds that occur as they are in that situation with you offering, and feeling the feelings associated with having the product/service in place. Only then can the right questions be raised.

Associate your prospects with your offering and you're doing them a favour by allowing them to raise the right questions that create a sale.

Are you switched on for business?

Business people come into situations daily where their performance in whatever situation they are in determines the outcome for the parties involved in that situation.

When I mention 'performance' I'm referring to the persons ability to influence the situation to move a person towards a shared win/win solution. That influencing contains two elements. Firstly, what is being said and secondly, the way the person acts whilst they are saying what they are saying.

Think about it. What words would you use to describe how you feel in challenging business situations. Things like handling a big meeting, disciplining staff, making sales calls, meeting targets can for some be described by language using words such as 'nervous,' apprehensive', 'uncomfortable' and many others and when you think about those situations and the words you use to describe them you'll begin to notice that a 'feeling' occurs in your body.

How different would it be if you could substitute counter productive feelings with productive ones and having done that you would perform differently and quite possible, then get a bigger result! How different would it be if you went into challenging contexts with 'preferred' feelings like confidence, calm and control. What would happen then?

Get yourself switched on by using techniques within the NLP toolbox can and do fast track how you behave and communicate. Once you do that - who knows what can be achieved!

Intelligent Influencing Skills

Intelligent Influencing Skills

11th December 2009

1-4pm

Leeds

Turning your business presentation into a persuasion is a key skill for business owners and anyone out there 'influencing' or involved in business development activity and recognising this fact, Binary Vision bring to you a seminar to hone your persuasion skills.

This 'tasty taster session' focusses on the following key areas:

How to use language patterns to steer you towards your outcomes
Use of rapport building tools that develop strong and lasting relationships
Techniques for handling customer queries and objections
How to create successful conditions in readiness for the sale
How influential non-verbal communication is and how to maximise its effects
Free Podcast Material


This short, sharp burst of training will leave you with key skills that are immediately available for use after this course. Why not come along and have your eyes opened to see for yourself what Intelligent Infuencing Techniques can do for you and your business and look forward to converting more outcomes that lead to bigger and better quality business for you.

See Nick Hill presenting aspects of this seminar on Friday 13th November 2009
at Cardiff IEC, 12.45 - 1.15pm

Is persuading someone bad?

Turning you business presentation into persuasion is the key to making a sale and both presenting and persuading are two completely different animals.

As a developer of business relationships the need for decent persuasion skills is high on your agenda surely, as it is not possible, when you are pitching to a prospect, to create the conditions necessary to create the sale without persuading someone, by using language, to allow them to access the mental space and processing required for them to make the right decision for them in that situation.

Persuasion is sometimes associated with bad connotation and mixed emotions spring to mind when thinking about a time when you may have been 'done over' or at the very least, you can imagine what that feels like. Having been in that situation, I know that one word or phrase to describe the situation is 'duped' yet looking back, I realise that the situation contained elements outside of my control and those that if I had been 'more aware' then the situation could have had a different outcome. Putting that to one side, how do you feel that last time you asked a person to 'stick the kettle on' or instruct a child to complete a task? Not so long ago for some I'm sure and I bet you felt 'at ease' in doing that didn't you?

Ever since we were young we've programmed ourselves to know how to operate to get what we want and we continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Think about this for a moment. To obtain an outcome, whatever you choose, you have to go through a sequence of events that act as check points so you know when you can comfortably move forward to the next stage in the attainment of that outcome. Some sequences are short, "Get a beer in would you?" and others longer like 'the sales process'.

The sales process requires persuading in a few key areas. Firstly, persuading the customer to listen to you. That comes through the development of rapport. Then, creating a frame for the prospect to explore all possible avenues in relation to your offer and creating the conditions, by handling any questions asked or statements made with an answer that satisfies the intention behind the listener. Finally, presenting your information to the prospect in alignment with the information you have extracted from your prospect ensures that you 'hit their values'. Values are what's important for the customer and have you demonstrated with conviction that your services/products meet their requirements and values?

When you think about it like that, persuading someone to tell you what's important to them so you can be sure that your service or product is right for them is nothing but a good thing. Surely the person would be happy in the fact that you fully understand their needs and are able to meet them? Surely they'd then go and talk about you and your business?

Presenting is 'telling'. Persuasion is convincing. So persuasion doesn't seem that bad at all now does it?

5 x Key Questions that create the conditions to sell/refer

They're so simple so let's not mess about - here they are!

1> What is your business priority right now?

2> Why did you choose that one?

3> Is that important to you? Why in your case?

4> What would happen if you didn't have that?

5> How much of a problem would that be?


Go ahead and play with these questions and see what responses you get.

More top tips and questions in later posts.....


These 5 questions are courtesy of a CD I was given created by Alan Pease, Australian Body Language Expert

Language patterning

As a business owner or 'communicator' you're in the business of getting results and when you start to think about business situations you come into, contexts in which you communicate and the differing outcomes that can possibly occur you'll soon realise that your thought processing and communication is geared towards an outcome that is generated by yourself or 'shared' with another and your key objective is to 'get agreement.'

There are numerous ways of 'enhancing' your personal communication to get agreement and before I share those with you there's one thing I have to be clear about. In any communication transaction there is an 'intention' and consideration has to be given to whether or not you consider your intention in 'persuading another' to be self fulfillment or shared winnings. Only you will know that but you know as well as I do that relationship building is built on shared outcomes that benefit all parties concerned. Now we've got that out of the way, let's move on.

Getting agreement is about getting people saying 'yes' and there are a number of ways to steer someone towards a 'yes' through language.

Know your outcome and 'pre-frame' your communication

Set the scene by outlining you 'objectives' and create an environment where you and the other person involved in the transaction are in agreeance on what is to be achieved. YES number 1.

'Pace' the listener using pacing statements

Pacing 'current experience' is very powerful. It is used to 'get people in on the deal' and engaged with you. Notice the following text and how you cannot disagree with it. "You are reading this material, looking at the text on the page, considering how these tools might assist you...." Subconsciously, as the reader you have 'accepted' or 'YES'd' three times by reading the above text. Agree?

Asking the right questions to get the right answers

People buy on 'emotion' and in the sales or relationship building process the 'hot buttons' of the prospect are to be identified and utilised to create the condition for the sale. By asking the following set of questions you can effectively create the right conditions by allowing the listener to highlight their situation and thought processing in relation to the context:

What is your priority? - Allows the listener to highlight their criteria

Why is that important? - Justifies their criteria

What would it mean for you if you had that? - Personalises the justification

What would the consequences be of not having that? - Creates the criteria to be avoided

How would that be a problem for you (not having that)? - Justifies the avoidance criteria

Once you have this set of information you now understand what the person wants, doesn't want and what it means 'globally' (impact on the bigger picture) and 'personally' to the listener. Repeat back to the listener and confirm what they want or don't want and how it impacts them to get them in agreement with you.

Use of suggestion to create 'options' - don't 'force' communication

Suggestion statements are used to enable the listener to have an option yet the message contained within the sentence is clear. By giving people an option you don't come across as pushy but 'suggestive' giving the listener the option to make the right decision for themselves. Consider the following sentences.

"Commit to working with my company today" - forced

"Are you able to commit to working with my company today" - option given - "Are you able"

"Could you commit to working with my company today" - option given "Could you"

Embedded commands

As with the above sentences you can see that the message or 'command' contained within the text is 'commit to working with my company today'. Let's combine pacing statements with a command:

"We've discussed your situation, I've highlighted what we offer as a business, and how we can assist you in achieving your objectives, and as you think about what you might achieve by working with me, how our commitment to each other can move you and the business forward and by knowing now, that we have assisted companies in a similar situation to yours grow substantially by these services, I'd like to make it easy for you to be able to commit to working with my company"

Tag questions

Tag questions refer to questions 'tagged' onto sentences that create agreement. It's quite interesting knowing that it is possible to create agreement using such tools like the one's above isn't it? And you can see that by using these patterns you can become more effective in your communication can't you? So you will go on and use them won't you?

As with all 'things' in life, especially honing your language skills, its about putting in practice, time and commitment. Practice saying your sentences with different voice tonality and a speed and 'pauses'. Commit to utilising some of the patterns daily and you'll soon see and increase in your personal performance, won't you?

Successful Teleselling

About an hour ago, I read an article on Linkedin relating to telesales and how important this skill is in the development of business relationships. I could not agree any more with the author when it comes to appreciating the value attached to picking up the phone and making direct contact with your target market but when push comes to shove, why is it that telesales is the 'thorn in the side' for most people involved in selling?

Rejection

The honest answer from most would be 'fear of rejection' and it's not uncommon for people to shudder at the thought of making these types of calls. But what if this 'activity' was renamed to 'profile raising' or 'helping people' or 'business to business communicating' for example? What if the 'sales' part was removed from the original labelling and changed to something else? What impact would that have for you as a business developer?

Pointers

Furthermore, what would it be like if you 'managed your expectations' in relation to telesales? What is going to happen realistically and how can you prepare yourself better for this communication task? Here are some pointers to assist:

1. Understand the purpose of your proposition. With only seconds to create impact it is essential that you are able to quickly and easily highlight the benefit, secondary gain or value attached to your offering and create a powerful 'business purpose statement'. Focus on the headache you remove or benefits you bring and create a sentence that highlights just those things. Rehearse this statement until you are comfortable with it rolling off your tongue.

2. Know your customer's business. Visit the website, learn 5 key things about the company in case you are asked 'What do you know about us?' A friend of mine is Head of Procurement for a large corporate and she said that the difference that makes the difference with sales calls is the caller 'understanding the business' and tailoring their communication towards that.

3. Explain to the prospect that you'd like to 'show' them how your business works and create a timescale for how long this will take. "It will take only 10 minutes of your time to show you how this can work for your business." The word 'show' presupposes that an explanation cannot be given over the telephone and it is necessary to meet face to face.

4. Demonstrate that you are taking a risk! You'd like to meet the prospect so explain to them that if after you have presented the solution and if at that point there is no mutual ground then they are entitled to end the meeting.

5. Create a form that charts possible outcomes attached to this activity and list your results. Knowing what could occur makes accepting possible occurences easy.

You might get through to the contact or you may not.
You may get a chance to pitch, or not.
You might pitch and get interest, or not.
You might pitch and get a meeting, or not.
You might get to pitch and the client have a valid reason for not wanting your offer.
You might get to pitch and the client not be ready for your offer.
You may be requested to call again later/remain in contact.

6. Commit to a number! Whether its 45 minutes or 45 calls - make a numeric commitment!

Special advice!

Most importantly remember these two 'special' pieces of advice. Firstly, you cannot fail at this activity, you only receive feedback. When you get your result, think about what happened, how you got your outcome and what you could have done differently.

Secondly, think about what you might ask 'you' if you were receiving a call from you and your business. How would you handle those questions? Again, identify and rehearse until you are comfortable with the elegance of your response.

Still not keen? Ever phoned a travel agent or booked a taxi? Ever called a restaurant to reserve a table? Ever called someone you don't know..........

Telesales or 'communicating on the phone' is a learned skill and can be developed. Don't let your learned reluctance get in the way of developing you and your business!

Stress Management

I was with a PR Company today, Chocolate PR in Leeds, and the MD mentioned that it was nearing a time in the year where stress awareness is promoted...

"I'm stressed out" is a phrase that is commonly touted amongst employees, friends, family members and almost anyone who experiences the pressures and other associated things with life and particularly business. It comes in lots of shapes and forms and is as a result of what some might describe as 'feelings inside' that are produced through the different environments and contexts we face in a our business and personal lives. Each environment contains 'patterns, structure and content' as examples and the information contained within them goes through a process of creating the sensations that trigger 'that feeling' in us that in language we term as 'stress.'

There are tools in the NLP toolbox

Stress is a 'state' and triggers those who are stressed to experience different forms of behaviour. Some people become angry, others irritable and some generate physical symptoms such as nail biting or irritation of the skin. When applied with the correct sequencing, state management tools i.e processes and techniques contained within the NLP toolbox, very much assist in the reduction and eradication of common stress behaviours. The mind creates its own patterns of your experiences and that creates the feeling associated with the context that is stressful. With NLP tools a client would work with the Practitioner to identify the structure of the patterns and change the patterning, which is 'sensory based.' This process involves asking the client questions surrounding memory structures along with questioning and directing the client through a series of steps to achieve the preferred state or feeling they want that would create more 'choice' for them in their chosen context. Some tools can be applied by self and achieve preferred outcomes.

BV 'n' CIPD

It doesn't matter who you are, what you do or how you do it, at some point you know you've experienced stress of some description and especially in business right now there are lots of people who would benefit from the utilisation of tools that can create different choices in stressful situations. In conjunction with Tim Holden, MD of Fluid Consulting, Binary Vision are putting on a Stress Management Workshop on the 26th November 2009, 9-4.30pm at the Holiday Inn, Leeds Bradford, Tong VIllage. The course is designed for Managers in business with employee responsibilities.

The investment a person will make to train in these techniques is £99 + vat. Discounts available for early bookings.

Enhancing your communication skills

You already know that the 'L' in NLP refers to 'linguistic' and speaking to you as a business trainer with a specialism in communications training, many people who hear that they can be trained in 'communication enhancement' often wonder exactly what that means?

As if you didn't know already, language is an extremely powerful tool in business and understanding now that there are techniques, structures and patterns contained within it, that when used in a certain way, do enable a person who chooses to use language in this way to 'steer' a persons thought processing towards the desired outcome for that conversation.

Breaking down language to understand its effects

For most, these patterns are used daily, but without any understanding of, or appreciation of what and how they are doing and how they get their results. Others get by in business by using their own unique style, jargon and patterning and sometimes they attain the desired result, sometimes they don't. So, what would it be like if you could break down language, understand the 'effects' it has on a person and then be able to choose to use particular patterns in the contexts in which you want a particular result such as presenting and sales or management of employees? I'm sure you'd agree that on one hand that might appear 'advantageous' and you might even ask what are these 'patterns' and structures?

Contained within the Milton Model (Bandler and Grinder) are a number of language patterns that primarily contain what are referred to as 'deletions, distortions and generalisations'. Bandler and Grinder created the Milton Model as a result of 'modelling' the language used by Milton Erickson, a clinical hypnotherapist who got results with clients that leading psychiatrists of the era had, for whatever reason, not achieved the desired outcomes for their patients. His methods of working with his clients utilised language to 'connect with a persons unconscious mind' enabling the unconscious mind of the client to access, process and accept the information given to them in such a way that 'change' occured in the person at a 'deep level'. As a result, unconscious changes in their behaviour meant that they overcame personal issues as they created new choices for themselves that they would not have been able to access if not for Ericksons method of communicating. But what does this mean in business terms?

Sender - Message - Recipient

There is no doubt that 'communication' contains the following elements, 'sender, message and recipient.' Whilst in conversation with another, you'll have noticed from previous experience that your conversations are 'engaging' or otherwise and your ability to hold a conversation with another to create the level of interest, desire and action associated with your preferred outcome requires the use of language. The conditions for creating an environment whereby the receiver of the communication is allowed to connect with you and synchronise themselves to what it is you are saying can be created using language, the term used to describe this is 'pacing' and the term used to describe how you move someone towards your train of thought is 'leading.' By pacing, you create language patterns that a person a person only agrees with.

E.g, As you are reading this blog, taking in the information in a way that is best for you, making mental notes of the information, storing that information in your mind.....

Creating agreement frames

The above example contains language that cannot be disagreed with. Everything in the sentence is actually going on and your 'current experience' was being paced, by using language.

Leading is the next stage in the process to direct the persons attention towards what it is you are looking to communicate/discuss/achieve.

E.g, As you are reading this blog, taking in the information in a way that is best for you, making mental notes of the information, storing that information in your mind....."you might want to consider how an improvement in your own communication skills would benefit you and your business"

Now we are veering towards the desired outcome of the conversation - how 'enhancing your communication skills would benefit you in business.'

It's just another way of communicating, that's all!

Don't get me wrong, people do get by making statements and requests by getting straight to the point. Sometimes this is 'accepted' by the receiver, sometimes it isn't. By pacing and leading people in conversations one can ensure that they have the persons full attention, commitment and agreement to communicate before the 'steer' or leading moves them towards the real message contained within the communication.

Having read this information and now thinking about how you communicate and the results you get, start to wonder about how some subtle changes in how you approach your communication could improve your relationship management, sales and presenting skills and how that may enable you to achieve bigger and better results.

The Skywalker

NLP provides multiple tools that allow those who engage in the techniques to control their state of mind and experience different or 'heightened states' of awareness.

At some point in your life, you've probably been in a situation where your 'sensory filters' were opened right up, your body experienced a feeling that was outside of your conscious control and 'the hairs on the back of your neck stood up' followed by some sort of language that might not be appropriate for documenting in this post!

A fantastic example of 'heightened awareness' and how to control your mental 'state' was there for all to see last night on a programme called 'The Skywalker'. The programme followed a man from California with a passion for adrenaline fixing activities, namely freestyle climbing and freestyle slack rope walking, the latter defined as walking across a nylon chord, circa one inch in diameter, just shy of taut and in this case, 3000+ feet in the air without safety attachments. The man at the centre of the programme continually strived for that 'feeling' he got from putting himself in situations and contexts that challenged him to the point of losing control or even death. In other words, that rush/fix/feeling from being right on the edge and the way it affected him inside as he did what he did. If you saw the programme, you'll know what I mean here.

Towards the top of 'rock climbing nirvana' (El Capitan, Yosemite CA), there was a piece of filming that illustrated the preparation he undertook to engage on the activity. 1 week of acclimatisation, intense thought processing, breathing and physical movements to get his in the right frame of mind to do it. It reminded me specifically of the 'Chain of excellence' which in NLP terms refers to the way your performance is affected by your breathing, your state and your physiology. All elements combined created the right frame of mind to undertake whatever task is to be engaged in to best effect whether it be a business meeting or in this case some death defying challenge and never more than before was the need for preparation key to the completion of this task.

Now for the really fascinating bit. Watching this guy in action was a truly fantastic experience. The level of control he had, the elegance of balance, the level of focus (to the extent that when he was on the rope I can't recall seeing him blink) the way he controlled his breathing and described how he felt and how at one point he said, "sometimes I think I can even see the air."

Your mind is such a powerful tool and with multiple studies documenting the power of the eye could this guy, in his heightened state of awareness that he experiences whilst engaged in this adrenaline pumping activity really see the air?

When a person is pushed to extremes, strange things happen, no doubt about it. So how can we resolve this 'air' seeing situation? Maybe see you at the top of El Capitan.

Gone in 60 Seconds - Presentation Training 16/9/9

As a trainer there's nothing better than watching people develop, that for me is the reason I do what I do and having some tools and drills that create highly experiential learning environments with the emphasis more on the 'doing' is a great place to watch people develop.

Soft skills development training
Today I trained with a group of people in Leeds who came from as far as Bristol, Ripponden and the North East and as local as Bradford and Greetland. All the delegates are business owners who had identified that an improvement in their soft skills, specifically when it comes to presenting your business message at networking events, would improve their opportunity in building business relationships and those who experienced what the day has to offer left with a mixture of confidence and control and 'language tools in their back pockets' that beef up your business message and the 'style' in which you deliver.

Providing conditions for fast paced learners
State management to attain 'presenter state' and techniques to enable you to do just that form a reasonable portion of the course with opportunities to continually evaluate your performance and build your skills. Of course, some progress quicker than others so providing exercises that are challenging, yet scalable, for those moving forwards quicker than others, is key. In addition, some people shift in state and behaviour when they feel challenged and being able to coach and identify continuous improvement and 'journey travelled' means that no matter what, everyone is continually improving. Overall, the day was a success.

With everything, there is something to learn or enhance and today was no exception. Learning points for me centred around some admin that I'd overlooked, and overunning a short while. Timing is critical in these situations with people who have travelling commitments wanting more time to get on the road to wherever they are going, you have to consider their position and sometimes be flexible enough to cut out bits or add/spend time with those who require a bit more attention, without diluting potency or value.

A successful day
Under quite challenging circumstances whereby it was pretty clear that delegates were at times outside of their comfort zones I'd like to say 'fair play' to everyone who attended. You got stuck in, made mistakes, coached, watched and learned, took on the drills and as a result, some delegates said that, "The day was a massive success for them" and surely, when it comes to choosing a training that's one of the things you expect isn't it?

The big question is, "Did they improve?"


" Excellent mentoring, great delivery with impact, an invaluable training experience!"
James Malone, Calder Valley Security

"Really enjoyed the challenging course and believe that business will increase as a result"
Tom Lawrence, Area Leader 4Networking and TLC Office Supplies

"Challenging! Thanks Nick, it's coming together!"
Rob Arthur, Rob Arthur Photography

"Nicks style is to encourage and develop the person. I found the course challenging and feel I have developed as a person"
John Elcock, Bradfor GRID

"I genuinely thought todays course was excellent. I can feel a huge difference in myself and I'm very excited about going out and doing my job!"
Amy Driver, Bradford GRID

"Very professional, instills confidence, quite commanding in style which is interesting and works"
Tamsen Garrie, Network Director, 4Networking

"I got the expansion I needed and particularly liked the way the course was able to be tailored to individual needs"
Denise MaCallum, Prime Investigations


If you or anyone you know in business is wondering if a course, like this one, is for you as it progresses you towards your objectives, then why not contact Binary Vision to discuss your requirements? Then you can start to experience how fast tracking your soft skills with us is not just training, but its also a damn good day out.

Rapport building

Building and managing relationships is key to business success and there are additional soft skills that a person can accrue to enhance their relationship building skills further.

Your contacts, employees, suppliers and anyone else who you are in contact with all have unique characteristics, qualities and behaviours that once recognised by you, can be utilised to cement and strengthen 'bonds' further. By paying attention to a persons methods and ways of communicating - what they are saying and how they are saying it - provides 'knowledge' to you in terms of their personal communication 'style' and how they prefer to be communicated to.

Observing these 'patterns' allows you the opportunity to operate on their wavelength. Rapport building is a skill and it happens naturally. You will have been in situations where you are with a friend, acquaintance or colleague and for whatever reason you have that feeling of 'connection' with them. You get them and they get you and your deisred outcome is achieved. You were 'talking the same language', maybe 'matching and mirroring' eachothers physiology, gestures, voice tone - maybe without realising it! On the other hand you may also have been with people where all you wanted to do was end the conversation and move on, for whatever reason. No connection, no commonality, no shared objectives. What would have happened in this circumstance if you were to have matched and mirrored their style?

Most people have heard of mirroring and matching. It can be effective and the advice here is to go out and experiment with it. Watch out for the subtle movements, gestures that a person makes when you communicate with them and match their patterns.

See what results you get, what level of connection you feel and if you achieve your outcome.

Play time.

Do you need to toughen up your soft skills?

In the current business climate where numerous transactions of various forms take place every day of the week it could be a fair bet to state that 'business won' is determined by some key factors.


As an Executive or Owner your key objective is be to be 'out there building relationships' to get the business to grow. Your role in making that happen is to communicate your business message and listen to others and understand needs. How you do that will determine the success of the relationships you form at whatever level and will create profit or losses. To some people you may be accepted, to others you may form stronger bonds and knowing that people buy people, your ability to adapt to the differing types, characteristics and styles is paramount to 'your name being in the frame' when the time is right.

Think about it. Your 'presentation of yourself' i.e what you wear, your level of confidence, or any other 'state or feelings' you experience at the thought of having to go up to people and start conversations, make big telephone calls, approach difficult tasks and your 'behaviour' whilst you do that along with the words, sentences and value you attach to the style of your delivery, is the recipe for success and the business executive and owner of this era can survive the storm by following a few simple guidlelines that for some might constitute a personal development plan. However, most, I'm sure, will view this as an opportunity to think about how improvements, large and small, can enhance their skills dramatically to create more business for you.

Some people find things that you find challenging easy

Your softer skills, that is your behavioural patterns, your personal presentation skills and your style are so important when you think about it. How you 'deliver' is down to you and growing in these areas should be high on anybodys list of requirements. The way you think about business, the challenges it throws, the parts of it you 'like' and 'dislike' are all deemed that way because you have given those tasks those 'labels.' For example, there are people out there who find it easy making cold calls and others who have no problems attached with just going up to a group and requesting to 'join in'. The way you approach these tasks with the sometimes 'half heartedness' or even 'fear' means that their success is diminished and business opportunities lost because of how you feel about them. However, things can change.

Those feelings you experience when you think about a challenging area of your business are as a result of what goes on in your visual field i.e what you see or sense as you manouvre around the world of business. That in turn goes through a number of processes that creates a feeling that you may refer to as 'productive or counter productive'. That feeling then determines if you get your outcome in that task or not and in the style or manner you would want to. Either way, it contributes to the outcome.

Some personal development techniques that are in use by companies large and small today enable those who choose to get involved, with an opportunity to experience how to play with their sensory based channels. By restructuring the elements of the sensory channels changes how you think and feel about your challenges so a person can move on and experience 'preferred feelings' associated with a once challenging task. You can now approach people easily with a different level of confidence that enables you to join in, make those calls and present easily with the style which is appropriate for you. This is soft skills development.

Think of a dog, then a solicitor

And language is also a very important factor to take into consideration. The language you omit provides the listener with an experience of what it is you do based on how they compute that information given to them. As you speak to another that person reference checks the words you issue against their own 'internal dictionary' that is linked to the sounds, images and feelings that they, associate with those words. For example. if I say to you 'think of a dog' a particular style/type will come into your visual field. It may be a dog that carries some sort of experience or emotional attachement with it and those feelings may come to the fore as you think about that dog. What happens when you say 'solicitor' or 'printer'. What happens then? Do you view a solicitor you know or does it draw up other types of experiences and feelings associated with past experiences? Different people experience different sensations internally when they experience the words you use and 'how' you say them.

To illustrate the point, think about how scalable language can be. Are you effective at what you do, very effective or exceptionally effective? Do you provide services, good services or fantastic services? Are you feeling OK about the future, confident about the future or not looking forward to it at all?

Calibration - that's what you need.

We all have a preferred way of communicating and the ability to 'calibrate' to another persons way of accepting communication on their 'wavelength' is a key skill in communication. These skills are available to be learned, just like anything else like sales, accounts packages and SEO, and are absolutely paramount to the success of you and your business.

So. Sharpening your soft skills should be a part of any business persons list of needs. Having the right behavioural characteristics for the task in hand so you feel tuned to do it mode,' coupled with the communication skills to paint the right pictures means you'll soon be on your way to achieveing your goals and objectives.

Get the most out of your networking

Business networking is one topic that is at the forefront of most business owners minds right now. Why? When it's done well it yields results and when it's not, it doesn't and with business owners out there who are looking to maximise that return on their networking investment, then doing it to the best of your ability is high on the agenda.

A full range available

There are many different groups out there to choose from ranging from pure referral based set-ups where you accrue a surrogate sales team to work on your behalf, through to informal 'social gatherings' where your ticket to success relies on the words that leave your mouth and the 'style' in which YOU deliver them. Throughout this spectrum of opprtunity there is a format that will suit you and your business, no doubt about it, yet before you go and start networking there are a few fundamentals to take into account.

Activity management

Like many other business development activities, networking IS business development and IS measureable. As a business owner or representative of a business you have made an investment in time and money to be there at the event so to measure your success in your chosen environment should be on your agenda post event, shouldn't it?

Why are you there?

Firstly - manage your expectations in relation to networking. Business networking is not a forum for a person to go and directly sell their wares. Most would agree it is a platform for business owners and decision makers to communicate with eachother, build relationships, get to know, like and trust one another before 'possibly' making an appropriate recommendation where available to your business. Rightly so, you are there to raise the profile of your business, make people aware of who you are, what you do, the value you provide and , if appropriate to do so, request who you might be interested in speaking with so making 'commtiment' to the 'who and how many' question should be a consideration. For those who are part of a group already, it could be your responsibility to communicate the benefits of the group or outline some of the success achieved by the group to maintain the level of interest amongst visitors.

What do you want to achieve?

Having personal and business objectives in mind is crucial. To go networking without an objective is potentially hazardous. Why? Because if you 'prefer' this environment to develop your business (as opposed to telemarketing for example) yet don't commit to speaking with new people then you are not developing your business as efficiently as you could. Committing to speaking with new people, committing to speaking to exisiting contacts about success stories since you last met and committing to step outside of your comfort zone to do these things can be a part of your plan. In addition to telling others about you, you must also make time to allow others to return to you information about them, their business and offer, if appropriate, how you can help them. Having an objective to help someone will move you quicker towards communicating with many.

Offering a helping hand!

Some people say that better networkers are those that give and there are often people who you come across who are only more than happy to assist you and your business. THIS IS QUITE NORMAL and not to be misconstrued as someone being over keen or intrusive. You can tell those types a mile off! Rooms of people hold valuable skills, contacts and experience and for those who find people with skills sets that are slightly unique, there may be opportunities for you to experience that offering before having the opportunity to recommend to your valuable contacts. Go in a giving mood - you never know what might occur. Would you want to be amongst givers of takers?

Building rapport with the people in the room

Your ability to learn or advance your personal rapport building skills is paramount to the success of your networking. With so many people 'unaware' of how to build rapport with people easily, maintaining conversations and communicating 'on their level' is a pre-requisite to advancing a relatiionship in your desired direction so the skills are their to be learned. Rapport happens naturally for most people and the next time you are out there networking, take a look around the room and as you listen to the conversations taking place, also take note of body positions. You may notice many mirroring and matching of behavioural patterns as you do that.

Your 60 second message

Whether off the cuff or planned to the hilt, your business message is to be clear and concise. Your ability to communicate in a confident manner whilst illustrating your offering is the prime skill to be honed in this environment. Couple that with a style that is natural and appealing to the listener(s) and you have a combination of ingredients to get you known in the right areas.

Presentations

The best opportunity in business networking awaits you at the 10 minute 4site/spotlight/insight part of the meeting. For those who choose to get involved and do it, this is the main event. It's not very often that you get an opportunity to showcase your business for 10 minutes with no interruption, everyone listening, just you and your peers hearing about what it is you do, how you do it and how you help people in business to get their results. This moment in time is not a direct sales pitch with no room for identification of offers, pricing structures or persuasion to use. It is your opportunity to give more information than you might in 40-60 seconds whilst going round the table over breakfast. A chance to let people get to know you and the business better, see your style, your personality and your skills and knowledge. What an opportunity, take it with both hands when the time is right for you to do that.

Post event tools!

Some of the more 'with it' networking businesses have harnessed the power of the internet and in particular social networking as part of their offering with great success. Those businesses have managed to allow their members to continue their relationship building online, in between meetings. This opportunity allows you and your business multiple ways of promoting yourself, your knowledge, offers, thoughts and anything else you consider of value to a listening community. In addition, the opportunity to contribute to other business owners thoughts, dilemmas and challenges via the contribution to 'threads' is an indirect way of promoting you and your knowledge to that community. If your business knowledge enables you to provide interesting and relevant articles that will benefit community members then this is yet another way for you to showcase yourself.

Investing time, not effort

When you look at all the various ways you can promote your business, owners and representatives are advised not to be fooled into thinking that liaising on linkedin, tinkering on twitter or any other social media for that matter is 'messing about on the net'. By adopting a time managed approach, say 20 minutes a day, to such activity, can and does build and cement further relationships. As the old saying goes, you have to 'in it to win it' and as communication methodologies advance, the advice is to get on board and commit to making it work in which ever way is best for you to do that.

Can you evolve with it?

So. It does pay to invest time, thought and effort into networking. It also pays to move with the times and step outside of your comfort zone to adopt the latest ways of working to get your business. Business is evolving and so is the way it is being done. You have to prepare yourself to choose to evolve with it.

Brrrrrrr - Cold Calling

In this era of business development where 'business networking' appears, for most, to be the 'preferred' medium for creating business relationships it seems that the 'good ol' telephone' has been pushed even further to the back of the desk, gathering dust, hiding away......

But why is this? Especially in SME/Micro business territory where the thought of 'telemarketing' or 'cold calling' is somewhat 'frowned upon'.

A couple of thoughts

Firstly, some business owners assume that making telephone calls is purely 'selling' and that is the first mistake. Yes, you must have a purpose when commiting to this activity, an objective for the call, have prepared for outcomes that might occur, but what realistically are you looking to achieve on that first call? Do you really think your are going to make a sale?

So the question is, if you're not their to make a sale, what could you be there for? What is your objective?

Could it be notifying businesses that you exist?
Informing people and businesses of your product or service?
Helping other people by explaining who you are and how you help businesses like theirs?
Profile raising?
To ask to meet the person involved? (notice we've not sold anything yet)

Not so cold now?

Think about business networking. You go to an event, talk to people who may or may not form part of your target audience and you may get 1 or 2 people who you agree to meet up with you outside of the networking group parameters. You may have been lucky enough to speak to 8-10 people that morning in 2 hours and from that gained 2 meetings. Those meetings are probably to 'network further' rather than 'sell' right?

Don't get me wrong, I think networking is a huge part of any businesses revenue development activity but let's get one thing straight. Networking does not put you in IMMEDIATE contact with your target audience. There is a reliance on your networking peers to 'talk about you' and prompt a referral of some description which may come a little way down the line. Your message, due to 'chinese whispers syndrome' could become a little diluted and the nature of this approach, being reactive, means that you never really are 'in control' of your activity.

Straight to the heart of your chosen audience

Telecommunicating takes you straight to the heart of your audience and bypasses any reliance on another person to create a need for you. It is the most proactive way of getting your message across to businesses and as the message comes directly from you that means that your message should be clear as a bell, not second hand, not 'diluted'. In addition, how many calls could you make in 2 hours? 10, 15, 20, 30?

When you think about it, telecommunicating is direct awareness raising of your business to your chosen market and with that in mind, how can you not choose to look at picking up the phone and making calls? At the very least, you know that your business name is being heard in the right neck of the woods.

So what's stopping you?

Maintaining 'state' and behaviour

Never before in business, especially in the current climate, has it been more important than ever to maintain a decent 'state' or 'level of behaviour'. With numerous external forces that contribute to our successes and in some cases our business failure, those outcomes do affect us as individuals as we accrue the feelings associated with both ends of the spectrum.

Motivation and Drive

You may have experienced recently a business success and the emotion that it brings - excitement, pleasure, satisfaction - aswell as the extra 'motivation and drive' that business deals bring. On the other hand, stress, disappointment, de-motivation and multiple other 'states' occur sometimes when things don't go as planned.

Forgetting skills

Having spoken to a client of mine recently, a recruitment sales Director who had enjoyed huge success over the last 10 years, a high earner who had got to the stage where 'business came to him' and as a result he had become a reactive business developer as opposed to a continually proactive business developer, it was evident that the language he was using to describe his situation gave a description of how he was feeling about his circumstances. Feeling demotivated, lacking in interest in the business, overwhelmed at how things had got to the stage they had we concluded rapidly that the problem was easy to diagnose. Having not had to 'do the basics' (i.E make phone calls to businesses) for a number of years he had simply 'forgot' or 'unlearned' the proactive behaviours that got him to where he was in the first 4-5 years of his career.

Think about it like this. If you have a skill that you don't use, what happens to it? It goes away, becomes less potent and lies dormant. The mechanics of that skill and the sequencing of what needs to happen are still within the person but in this case the physical actioning of the skill had not been put into practice for a number of years and this had resulted in a counter-productive feeling/state/behaviour being attached to this function.

Assigning a 'preferred' state to the task

The client knows what to do - the mechanics of picking up a phone, dialling and communicating - and by working with me, we used a technique to re-design the behavioural strategy for the task of telephone calling which resulted in a preferred feeling associated with the task. As a result, the function is now able to be undertaken easily without any counter-productive feelings/state attached to it and the client is working like he did 5, 6, 7 years ago with the same zest and enthusiasm that got him to where he was.

In times like these, if there was a tool out there that could change the way you think about certain tasks in business or in life in general, what is it you'd like to change, knowing that if you did that, you'd get a different result!

Do you network or socialise?

There is no doubt that business networking is a great tool for the development of face2face relationships for your business. The opportunity to communicate your message to a number of people who are there to also meet with like minded business people, only comes in this 'format'.

Be proactive

As a business networker, you'll access groups old and new with traditional and 'different' forms of structure yet no matter which group it is, there is that 'point' where you can be proactive and begin the process of making new contacts or move towards 'people you know' to strengthen existing relationships.

Finding that all important balance between being proactive and searching for new contacts versus strengthening relationships is a fine line and both carry equal weighting. However, if you are the type of person who only gravitates towards people you already know then there is an argument to support the fact that you could be deemed as 'socialising' not 'networking'.

Is socialising networking?

Before you start with the notion that socialising IS networking, which I agree whole heartedly, the important point that is to be stressed here is to find that balance between continually developing existing and creating new relationships.

For those who choose to adopt that balance, they will be the ones who 'grow' proactively, whilst others who choose to wait for referrals only (based on the strength of their relationships) will grow, but aren't 'in control' of their growth as they are 'reactive' to other people supplying information/leads to them.

Building NEW relationships and cementing existing ones

There is no 'right or wrong' way to network. It is about speaking to people, it is about building relationships and it defintely IS about building NEW relationships.

Next time you're at an event, commit to communicating with people you have not met before. You never know who you're going to meet, what they do and who they know and what that relationship 'might' bring.

Continually learning

I've just got back from delivering a 'Key Networking Skills' course with co-trainer Russ McGrath. What an afternoon.

I've known Russ for a while now and it was around 3 months ago that we agreed to do some work together and looking at our skills, there is a really decent match of qualities and experience that added together creates the fuel for the content and delivery of the course.


Evaluation

Like most situations, it's good to evaluate your performance. Over a beer in the gardens of the venue we were using we sat and discussed the positives and areas for improvement along with an overview of the delegate feedback sheets. This is where it started to become interesting.

Our initial thoughts of improvements centred around delivery style, timings of 'modules' and the realisation that with more bodies next time round we may have to lengthen the duration of the course slightly to accomodate more requirements for clarification and feedback. Upon reading the feedback forms, where we had asked explicitly for honesty, the feedback given was very positive and made us both realise something of much value.


Striving for improvement

As a trainer or provider of any service, there will always be times when YOU know where you can improve yet the receiver of the content is unaware of any downsides in your personal performance and would not realise your noted personal improvement area.

Bearing this in mind, do you strive for your own personal 'level' of performance, or, that of the level required by your audience?


The choice to improve

Perfection is not reachable. Nor is it always essential. Yet continuous self-appraisal and accepting external feedback provide you with the substance to have a 'choice' to improve, or not as the case may be!

It's all in the eyes

Eye patterning and representational systems is a core NLP pattern that derives from the original work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970's.


Eye movements

As we go about communicating in our day to day lives, speaking with people, asking them questions and attaining responses, you may notice that the movement of a persons eyes in that 'communication loop' differs depending on the type of question you ask that person.

For most people, (there are exceptions to the rule such as left handers) the way that they process information can be seen via the movements of their eyes. Let me give you an example.

Ask yourself the following questions :

"What colour was the front door of your house as a child?"
"What colour will the next coat you buy be?"

Where did your eyes move as you processed that information?


For most, their eyes will have pointed up and left (for Q1) and up and right (for Q2). Why? In Grinder and Bandlers work they noted that eye movements can depict what 'sort' of information a person is processing - Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic. In the above example we took two questions of a visual nature and you will have responded to those questions by looking up and left or right to access the colours/pictures to answer the questions.


What's the point?

Why is this important? If a person during communication is considerate of what representational system the other person is using they can match that system with their language. Let's use the visual system as an example.

Person 1 - "That looks good to me" (The word looks is a visual 'predicate')
Person 2 - "Yes it does, I see what you're saying by that" (The word see denotes visual 'predicate')


By matching the system in use, the persons communicating are operating on a shared system which solidifies the communication loop between those persons further towards a strong bond of rapport and if you can increase rapport, you build stronger relationships that get better results.

Unlocking potential

"The gold is on the inside...."

Have some purpose!

Whether you're employed, self employed, studying or any other activity for that matter, one of the 'big' questions is "Do you know why you are doing what you are doing?" Understanding your purpose is one of the key conditions to achieving outcomes. Why? Because it identifies the words that describe the feelings associated with the task and when a task has feeling it gets done better than if it doesn't.


Why are you there?

I'm running a training course with an associate this week and in the design of the course material we have decided to make delegates aware that any situation is measureable and quantifiable (to an extent) and actions like business networking are no different. As a business owner, you'll network, I'm sure, and as you attend events, formal or informal, how many of you 'know why you are there?" A silly question it may seem at first but when you think about it, do you have an objective at all? Do you know what could be measured in that environment, what objectives you could have created pre-event and how to track if you attained them or not? Just going with the notion of 'getting more business' is a little limiting. Partly for the fact that it won't happen.


You could set some 'goals'

If you do already set big and small goals then I'm positive that you are reaping the rewards of your thought processing and I wish you continued success! If you don't, you may want to think about why you are in attendance, what you could achieve in that environment, how you could set yourself goals in all areas that quantify the stepping stones to be taken towards the attainment of that objective and how you can start by documenting your plan for your next event!

3,4,6 or more....

With all that in mind, your focus will be towards achieving your objectives (whatever you set) that in turn will create the volume of contact you require to continuosly build new relationships. Without that in mind you might continue to walk away with the 3 or 4 or 6 cards that you always do....