Language patterning

As a business owner or 'communicator' you're in the business of getting results and when you start to think about business situations you come into, contexts in which you communicate and the differing outcomes that can possibly occur you'll soon realise that your thought processing and communication is geared towards an outcome that is generated by yourself or 'shared' with another and your key objective is to 'get agreement.'

There are numerous ways of 'enhancing' your personal communication to get agreement and before I share those with you there's one thing I have to be clear about. In any communication transaction there is an 'intention' and consideration has to be given to whether or not you consider your intention in 'persuading another' to be self fulfillment or shared winnings. Only you will know that but you know as well as I do that relationship building is built on shared outcomes that benefit all parties concerned. Now we've got that out of the way, let's move on.

Getting agreement is about getting people saying 'yes' and there are a number of ways to steer someone towards a 'yes' through language.

Know your outcome and 'pre-frame' your communication

Set the scene by outlining you 'objectives' and create an environment where you and the other person involved in the transaction are in agreeance on what is to be achieved. YES number 1.

'Pace' the listener using pacing statements

Pacing 'current experience' is very powerful. It is used to 'get people in on the deal' and engaged with you. Notice the following text and how you cannot disagree with it. "You are reading this material, looking at the text on the page, considering how these tools might assist you...." Subconsciously, as the reader you have 'accepted' or 'YES'd' three times by reading the above text. Agree?

Asking the right questions to get the right answers

People buy on 'emotion' and in the sales or relationship building process the 'hot buttons' of the prospect are to be identified and utilised to create the condition for the sale. By asking the following set of questions you can effectively create the right conditions by allowing the listener to highlight their situation and thought processing in relation to the context:

What is your priority? - Allows the listener to highlight their criteria

Why is that important? - Justifies their criteria

What would it mean for you if you had that? - Personalises the justification

What would the consequences be of not having that? - Creates the criteria to be avoided

How would that be a problem for you (not having that)? - Justifies the avoidance criteria

Once you have this set of information you now understand what the person wants, doesn't want and what it means 'globally' (impact on the bigger picture) and 'personally' to the listener. Repeat back to the listener and confirm what they want or don't want and how it impacts them to get them in agreement with you.

Use of suggestion to create 'options' - don't 'force' communication

Suggestion statements are used to enable the listener to have an option yet the message contained within the sentence is clear. By giving people an option you don't come across as pushy but 'suggestive' giving the listener the option to make the right decision for themselves. Consider the following sentences.

"Commit to working with my company today" - forced

"Are you able to commit to working with my company today" - option given - "Are you able"

"Could you commit to working with my company today" - option given "Could you"

Embedded commands

As with the above sentences you can see that the message or 'command' contained within the text is 'commit to working with my company today'. Let's combine pacing statements with a command:

"We've discussed your situation, I've highlighted what we offer as a business, and how we can assist you in achieving your objectives, and as you think about what you might achieve by working with me, how our commitment to each other can move you and the business forward and by knowing now, that we have assisted companies in a similar situation to yours grow substantially by these services, I'd like to make it easy for you to be able to commit to working with my company"

Tag questions

Tag questions refer to questions 'tagged' onto sentences that create agreement. It's quite interesting knowing that it is possible to create agreement using such tools like the one's above isn't it? And you can see that by using these patterns you can become more effective in your communication can't you? So you will go on and use them won't you?

As with all 'things' in life, especially honing your language skills, its about putting in practice, time and commitment. Practice saying your sentences with different voice tonality and a speed and 'pauses'. Commit to utilising some of the patterns daily and you'll soon see and increase in your personal performance, won't you?

Successful Teleselling

About an hour ago, I read an article on Linkedin relating to telesales and how important this skill is in the development of business relationships. I could not agree any more with the author when it comes to appreciating the value attached to picking up the phone and making direct contact with your target market but when push comes to shove, why is it that telesales is the 'thorn in the side' for most people involved in selling?

Rejection

The honest answer from most would be 'fear of rejection' and it's not uncommon for people to shudder at the thought of making these types of calls. But what if this 'activity' was renamed to 'profile raising' or 'helping people' or 'business to business communicating' for example? What if the 'sales' part was removed from the original labelling and changed to something else? What impact would that have for you as a business developer?

Pointers

Furthermore, what would it be like if you 'managed your expectations' in relation to telesales? What is going to happen realistically and how can you prepare yourself better for this communication task? Here are some pointers to assist:

1. Understand the purpose of your proposition. With only seconds to create impact it is essential that you are able to quickly and easily highlight the benefit, secondary gain or value attached to your offering and create a powerful 'business purpose statement'. Focus on the headache you remove or benefits you bring and create a sentence that highlights just those things. Rehearse this statement until you are comfortable with it rolling off your tongue.

2. Know your customer's business. Visit the website, learn 5 key things about the company in case you are asked 'What do you know about us?' A friend of mine is Head of Procurement for a large corporate and she said that the difference that makes the difference with sales calls is the caller 'understanding the business' and tailoring their communication towards that.

3. Explain to the prospect that you'd like to 'show' them how your business works and create a timescale for how long this will take. "It will take only 10 minutes of your time to show you how this can work for your business." The word 'show' presupposes that an explanation cannot be given over the telephone and it is necessary to meet face to face.

4. Demonstrate that you are taking a risk! You'd like to meet the prospect so explain to them that if after you have presented the solution and if at that point there is no mutual ground then they are entitled to end the meeting.

5. Create a form that charts possible outcomes attached to this activity and list your results. Knowing what could occur makes accepting possible occurences easy.

You might get through to the contact or you may not.
You may get a chance to pitch, or not.
You might pitch and get interest, or not.
You might pitch and get a meeting, or not.
You might get to pitch and the client have a valid reason for not wanting your offer.
You might get to pitch and the client not be ready for your offer.
You may be requested to call again later/remain in contact.

6. Commit to a number! Whether its 45 minutes or 45 calls - make a numeric commitment!

Special advice!

Most importantly remember these two 'special' pieces of advice. Firstly, you cannot fail at this activity, you only receive feedback. When you get your result, think about what happened, how you got your outcome and what you could have done differently.

Secondly, think about what you might ask 'you' if you were receiving a call from you and your business. How would you handle those questions? Again, identify and rehearse until you are comfortable with the elegance of your response.

Still not keen? Ever phoned a travel agent or booked a taxi? Ever called a restaurant to reserve a table? Ever called someone you don't know..........

Telesales or 'communicating on the phone' is a learned skill and can be developed. Don't let your learned reluctance get in the way of developing you and your business!

Stress Management

I was with a PR Company today, Chocolate PR in Leeds, and the MD mentioned that it was nearing a time in the year where stress awareness is promoted...

"I'm stressed out" is a phrase that is commonly touted amongst employees, friends, family members and almost anyone who experiences the pressures and other associated things with life and particularly business. It comes in lots of shapes and forms and is as a result of what some might describe as 'feelings inside' that are produced through the different environments and contexts we face in a our business and personal lives. Each environment contains 'patterns, structure and content' as examples and the information contained within them goes through a process of creating the sensations that trigger 'that feeling' in us that in language we term as 'stress.'

There are tools in the NLP toolbox

Stress is a 'state' and triggers those who are stressed to experience different forms of behaviour. Some people become angry, others irritable and some generate physical symptoms such as nail biting or irritation of the skin. When applied with the correct sequencing, state management tools i.e processes and techniques contained within the NLP toolbox, very much assist in the reduction and eradication of common stress behaviours. The mind creates its own patterns of your experiences and that creates the feeling associated with the context that is stressful. With NLP tools a client would work with the Practitioner to identify the structure of the patterns and change the patterning, which is 'sensory based.' This process involves asking the client questions surrounding memory structures along with questioning and directing the client through a series of steps to achieve the preferred state or feeling they want that would create more 'choice' for them in their chosen context. Some tools can be applied by self and achieve preferred outcomes.

BV 'n' CIPD

It doesn't matter who you are, what you do or how you do it, at some point you know you've experienced stress of some description and especially in business right now there are lots of people who would benefit from the utilisation of tools that can create different choices in stressful situations. In conjunction with Tim Holden, MD of Fluid Consulting, Binary Vision are putting on a Stress Management Workshop on the 26th November 2009, 9-4.30pm at the Holiday Inn, Leeds Bradford, Tong VIllage. The course is designed for Managers in business with employee responsibilities.

The investment a person will make to train in these techniques is £99 + vat. Discounts available for early bookings.

Enhancing your communication skills

You already know that the 'L' in NLP refers to 'linguistic' and speaking to you as a business trainer with a specialism in communications training, many people who hear that they can be trained in 'communication enhancement' often wonder exactly what that means?

As if you didn't know already, language is an extremely powerful tool in business and understanding now that there are techniques, structures and patterns contained within it, that when used in a certain way, do enable a person who chooses to use language in this way to 'steer' a persons thought processing towards the desired outcome for that conversation.

Breaking down language to understand its effects

For most, these patterns are used daily, but without any understanding of, or appreciation of what and how they are doing and how they get their results. Others get by in business by using their own unique style, jargon and patterning and sometimes they attain the desired result, sometimes they don't. So, what would it be like if you could break down language, understand the 'effects' it has on a person and then be able to choose to use particular patterns in the contexts in which you want a particular result such as presenting and sales or management of employees? I'm sure you'd agree that on one hand that might appear 'advantageous' and you might even ask what are these 'patterns' and structures?

Contained within the Milton Model (Bandler and Grinder) are a number of language patterns that primarily contain what are referred to as 'deletions, distortions and generalisations'. Bandler and Grinder created the Milton Model as a result of 'modelling' the language used by Milton Erickson, a clinical hypnotherapist who got results with clients that leading psychiatrists of the era had, for whatever reason, not achieved the desired outcomes for their patients. His methods of working with his clients utilised language to 'connect with a persons unconscious mind' enabling the unconscious mind of the client to access, process and accept the information given to them in such a way that 'change' occured in the person at a 'deep level'. As a result, unconscious changes in their behaviour meant that they overcame personal issues as they created new choices for themselves that they would not have been able to access if not for Ericksons method of communicating. But what does this mean in business terms?

Sender - Message - Recipient

There is no doubt that 'communication' contains the following elements, 'sender, message and recipient.' Whilst in conversation with another, you'll have noticed from previous experience that your conversations are 'engaging' or otherwise and your ability to hold a conversation with another to create the level of interest, desire and action associated with your preferred outcome requires the use of language. The conditions for creating an environment whereby the receiver of the communication is allowed to connect with you and synchronise themselves to what it is you are saying can be created using language, the term used to describe this is 'pacing' and the term used to describe how you move someone towards your train of thought is 'leading.' By pacing, you create language patterns that a person a person only agrees with.

E.g, As you are reading this blog, taking in the information in a way that is best for you, making mental notes of the information, storing that information in your mind.....

Creating agreement frames

The above example contains language that cannot be disagreed with. Everything in the sentence is actually going on and your 'current experience' was being paced, by using language.

Leading is the next stage in the process to direct the persons attention towards what it is you are looking to communicate/discuss/achieve.

E.g, As you are reading this blog, taking in the information in a way that is best for you, making mental notes of the information, storing that information in your mind....."you might want to consider how an improvement in your own communication skills would benefit you and your business"

Now we are veering towards the desired outcome of the conversation - how 'enhancing your communication skills would benefit you in business.'

It's just another way of communicating, that's all!

Don't get me wrong, people do get by making statements and requests by getting straight to the point. Sometimes this is 'accepted' by the receiver, sometimes it isn't. By pacing and leading people in conversations one can ensure that they have the persons full attention, commitment and agreement to communicate before the 'steer' or leading moves them towards the real message contained within the communication.

Having read this information and now thinking about how you communicate and the results you get, start to wonder about how some subtle changes in how you approach your communication could improve your relationship management, sales and presenting skills and how that may enable you to achieve bigger and better results.

The Skywalker

NLP provides multiple tools that allow those who engage in the techniques to control their state of mind and experience different or 'heightened states' of awareness.

At some point in your life, you've probably been in a situation where your 'sensory filters' were opened right up, your body experienced a feeling that was outside of your conscious control and 'the hairs on the back of your neck stood up' followed by some sort of language that might not be appropriate for documenting in this post!

A fantastic example of 'heightened awareness' and how to control your mental 'state' was there for all to see last night on a programme called 'The Skywalker'. The programme followed a man from California with a passion for adrenaline fixing activities, namely freestyle climbing and freestyle slack rope walking, the latter defined as walking across a nylon chord, circa one inch in diameter, just shy of taut and in this case, 3000+ feet in the air without safety attachments. The man at the centre of the programme continually strived for that 'feeling' he got from putting himself in situations and contexts that challenged him to the point of losing control or even death. In other words, that rush/fix/feeling from being right on the edge and the way it affected him inside as he did what he did. If you saw the programme, you'll know what I mean here.

Towards the top of 'rock climbing nirvana' (El Capitan, Yosemite CA), there was a piece of filming that illustrated the preparation he undertook to engage on the activity. 1 week of acclimatisation, intense thought processing, breathing and physical movements to get his in the right frame of mind to do it. It reminded me specifically of the 'Chain of excellence' which in NLP terms refers to the way your performance is affected by your breathing, your state and your physiology. All elements combined created the right frame of mind to undertake whatever task is to be engaged in to best effect whether it be a business meeting or in this case some death defying challenge and never more than before was the need for preparation key to the completion of this task.

Now for the really fascinating bit. Watching this guy in action was a truly fantastic experience. The level of control he had, the elegance of balance, the level of focus (to the extent that when he was on the rope I can't recall seeing him blink) the way he controlled his breathing and described how he felt and how at one point he said, "sometimes I think I can even see the air."

Your mind is such a powerful tool and with multiple studies documenting the power of the eye could this guy, in his heightened state of awareness that he experiences whilst engaged in this adrenaline pumping activity really see the air?

When a person is pushed to extremes, strange things happen, no doubt about it. So how can we resolve this 'air' seeing situation? Maybe see you at the top of El Capitan.